Creating my perfect partner

I came to realize that what I really wanted in my life was a partner, someone to trust, someone to hold.

I was in a relationship with someone that I had been wanting to end, but I just couldn't seem to get rid of him.  So I started by making a list of what I wanted and a list of what I didn't want.

Do you make lists?  I've made lists my whole life.  Unfortunately, my pattern was to make a list then never touch it again and eventually throw it away.  Not the most effective.

This list was different, I had help.  My life coach, Jennifer, had me actually work this list.  I learned to use the negative items as contrast to refine what I DID want.  And then through a series of energy exercises, reducing my doubts and fears, I practiced allowing my creation.

I practiced nearly every day, tapping, breathing, and aligning my energy with my desired creation for about 15 minutes.

I started my list at the beginning of December 1997, by New Year's Eve, the relationship I had been in was over.  Suddenly ending it wasn't hard anymore.  I didn't feel sorry for him, he didn't pretend to misunderstand, I was fed up and ended it.

By March I was terribly lonely and depressed, living alone for the first time in my life with no car, no boyfriend, and too much time on my hands.  Instead of giving in to my doubts, Jennifer encouraged me to continue to tap and continue to trust that my creation was coming.  It made all the difference.

By early May, I was happier and started dating a nice guy I'd met at work.  We dated all summer, and he introduced me to his friend and his friend's family.  We had a nice summer, and yet I knew something wasn't quite right.  I continued to work on allowing the person described by my list and knew that this guy wasn't everything on the list.

In September, just as I was starting to feel like something was going to have to change, my boyfriend disappeared for a few weeks.  Two weeks later, he appeared at my door to tell me that he wanted to break up.  I convinced him to come in and tell me why, and I was really upset.  Rejection hurts.

Then I suddenly had this realization that this was the Universe rearranging to make way for my creation.   Suddenly the tears stopped and I started to laugh.  Rather disconcerting for him, he thought I was having a breakdown.  lol

I continued to work on my list and that boyfriend went away, but through him I had met some new friends.  I realized that I was more sad that I wasn't going to get to hang out with my new friends, the Lees, than I was sad that I broke up with my boyfriend.  I talked to Mr. Lee, who told me, "Now, no fair disappearing on us just because you two broke up.  We like you."

It was a set up from the get-go.  He then called all of his kids, and told them to make sure to call me so I'd know that I should hang around.  When he got to his son, Rob, Rob said, "well, he's a fool to break up with Jamie, she's the best thing that's happened to him.  I'd date Jamie!"  And his dad immediately conferenced the call to me and said, "You two need to talk!"

And did we ever!  We talked and talked and talked.  Our schedules didn't really fit all of October and November, but we talked a lot.  While we talked I checked off every single item on my list, he was and is every single one of those traits that I was looking for.

We had our first date December 4th 1998, a year after I'd started my list and we've been together since.  We were married in 2000 and have two wonderful boys together.  I didn't go anywhere to find him, I didn't go on a massive search.  I sat still and aligned my energy and dispelled my doubts that such a person even existed, and he came to me.